the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Randomize
