Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
