We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
