Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
