omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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