You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize