Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Randomize
