does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
