Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
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