plz talk dirty to me
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Two words: nipple clamps
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