Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
