who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
