I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Randomize
