You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
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