On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
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