Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize