Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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