Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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