a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
