PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
