I must be too annoying 4 u.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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