Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
honey bunches of taint.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize
