If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
