I think I just saw someone hide a body.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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