I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I need water and some morals
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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