i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Randomize
