On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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