Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
