ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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