I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
soo... how was my night?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
