can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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