im about as happy as oj after his trial
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
