You work out of a Hotel?
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
