My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
