I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
You're a waste of cheezeits
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Someone stole a lamp last night.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
