i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
pray to the hookup gods
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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