do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
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