hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
