Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
