also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
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