at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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