Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
