I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
