i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
