If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
