Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
