Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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