I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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