i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize