Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I take back everything I said about communal showers
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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