I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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