Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
it's like heaven, but drunker
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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