he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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