I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
