Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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