If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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