I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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