I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Randomize
