You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
