At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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