Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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