Buhtt sex?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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