I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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