Your tits are I can't wait for
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
The air was thick with penises
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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