Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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