Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Well I just put wine in my tea
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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