Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Just pee around me
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize