dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
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