i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
A+ Viking dick
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